I Know
by Fear Die Rothaarige
Summary: After the death of her beloved, she grew to hate the man with yellow hair, sky blue eyes, and the overly bright smile. He was supposed to be the one hidden away in a coffin, not him. It was supposed to be her, walking down the isle on a wedding dress, not her. With one selfless action, her life was forever changed. SPOILER for chapter 614.


_**I know**_

By:

**Fear Die Rothaarige**

She hated him.

She hated his smile, his overly bright yellow hair, and his sky blue eyes. She hated how he could smile and joke with his friends. She hated how he had fallen in love with the Hyuuga heiress, Hinata. She hated that life was finally going right for the young Hokage. She hated him because he was alive. She hated him because Neji wasn't.

Five years since the end of the year. Five long, hard years since they had laid the Hyuuga Genius, Neji, to rest.

His oak coffin had been laid to rest surrounded by his friends, by his family, and the one man responsible for his death, Naruto Uzumaki. They had all stood around the grave, listening to the gentle wind blowing through the trees, as the black wood was covered in white roses. When it had been her turn, she placed a single red rose atop the mountain of white ones. The red recognizing her undying love for the man hidden behind the wooden casket and the blood that would forever stain her life.

She had thought she was the only one left at the grave site. Lee and Gai had left her alone, knowing she needed some time with the man she loved. Tears ran down her face and sobs shook her small form. For what seemed like eternity she was alone. But, without warning, a hand was placed on her shoulder. Sensing the chakra of the man behind her, she stiffened She grew angry, her fist balling up. She attacked. Her fist beat at his chest, battering the man who refused to fight back against her.

"You're the reason he's dead!" She screamed, her voice harsh and broken. "He deserved to live!" More tear as her punches halted, all of her energy spent. He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her frail body to his own strong and healthy one.

"I know," He whispered, "I know." He held her like that until she backed away from him. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at him. When chocolate brown meet sky blue, they each understood something. For him, it was that she would always hate him for the lose of her lover. For her, it was that he would always be sorry he couldn't bring Neji back. With this understanding, they parted ways.

After that day, she thew herself into her training like never before. She spent days upon days doing nothing but training, only stopping to eat and drink. She was no longer the Tenten everyone knew and loved. That Tenten had died along with Neji. Within three months, she was recruited into the Anbu training program. Another three months saw her inducted into the Anbu league. She was no longer Tenten. She was Hawk. Silent and deadly, she moved up within the Anbu ranks.

A year after being in Anbu, it was announced that Tsunade would be stepping down. Her replacement was none other than Naruto Uzumaki.

The night that Tenten, along with all members of Anbu, swore their loyalty to the new Hokage, Tenten's careful composer broke. She went to a bar in the skimpiest dress she owned. A bar where no one was supposed to know her. It was on the bad side of town, where a majority of the gambling places were located. Once there, she drank. She drank like the sun wasn't going to rise and brighten the sky tomorrow. She drank like she imagined she would with Neji on one of those nights were teenage rebellion took a hold of there hearts. But, as she stumbled into the hotel room, she wasn't in the arms of Neji.

Another year in the service of Naruto, saw the young Hokages wedding.

Her assignment was to be a plain clothes body guard to the newlywed couple. When she had attempted to switch with someone else, saying she would be of better use hidden somewhere, she was turned down with the reply that she knew the couple on a personal level. No one would question her being there. She watched as Hinata walked down the isle wearing a beautiful, one of a kind, strapless wedding dress. She saw Naruto's eyes light up with love at the sight of his beautiful bride. As they were pronounced Husband and Wife, she had to force herself to look, to remind herself that this was what she was supposed to have with Neji. She was supposed to be wearing some ridiculous dress and walk down the isle, the man of her dreams waiting for her. But it wasn't her. It would never be her wedding.

If it hadn't been for him, it would be Naruto who was six feet under, sealed away in an oaken coffin. It was to remind herself why she hated her Hokage.

That night, after the reception, she handled her broken composer better than she had last time.

Instead of drinking enough alcohol to but Tsunade to shame, she locked herself away from the world. She sat in the middle of her kitchen floor, a small hunting dagger in hand. Bright crimson stood out against the sterile white of her tile floor. Lee found her, sitting in a pool of her own blood. Her eyes were vacant. They stared off in the distance as if she was lost to another world, perhaps a world where Neji was still alive. He helped her to her feet. She was nothing more than a doll in his hands as he washed and bandaged her wounds. After stripping her of the bloody clothes and replacing them with clean ones, he tucked her into bed. He laid with her until she fell into a fitful sleep, memories of the Hyuuga slipping from her lips. He burned the bloody clothes and bleached her floor. No one would have to know what happened that night.

Tenten continued living on, if that's what you want to call it. No one saw her unless she was coped up in the hospital from some injury that she couldn't treat at home. When people came to visit her, she went through the motions of catching up and saying she was okay. But they were only motions. She had no real intent behind her words. If she died one of her many missions, she wouldn't care. She lied through her teeth like a good Anbu, telling everyone she would make it back home, that she was fine, that she was everything she wasn't and hadn't been since the day Neji died.

Then, one day, the inevitable happened.

Their was an assassination attempt on the Hokage and his family. They were saved by none other than the Anbu Hawk, Tenten. She had seen the fatal blow that had been meant for the man she hated. She had even stalled a second, knowing that he wouldn't survive the blow, but in the end, she did what the man that held her heart did. She took the blow meant to end the Hokages life. She staggered and fell as blood poured from the open wound in her torso. But she never hit the ground. Her blurring sight was filled with that of the smile, the overly blond hair, and sky blue eyes that she hated. In the background, she could hear Hinata trying to calm her oldest child, a son, and the other members of Anbu who had subdued the members of the assassination team.

"I hate you," Tenten whispered as blood spilled in rivers from her mouth. She heard the man chuckle. He knew the full irony of the situation, seeing as five years ago, a similar situation happened. Another friend gave his life to protect him, and said friend died in his arms. This time is was the lover of that friend that would perish in his arms.

"I know." He replied back, tears were failing from his sky blue eyes, the eyes that she hated.

"It should have been you." Her vision was starting to blur more and more, the sounds around her starting to fade and go silent.

"I know." He repeated. "I'm sorry, Tenten." He all but whispered.

Tenten's last words were lost in the blood flowing from her mouth. With a final spasm she lay still. Her brown orbs staring up at the sky, blood still pouring from her body. "Thank you." Naruto whispered to the body of the dead women. He passed his hand over her eyes, forever closing them from the world.

_She had given her life for the man she hated._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Neji sure as hell wouldn't have died. **_

_**R.I.P. Neji Hyuuga. **_


End file.
